My last entry was too long ago, when I did 16 miles - man, I was so proud of myself.  18 didn't go as well.  I hit "the wall."  If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry I'll explain.

The Wall - a term that could be used in any sport or topic in life to describe a time where you don't have the energy/knowledge/will power/motivation/experience/etc to move forward at the pace you were currently holding; most often you must stop and not move (literally) for a period of time before you can start moving again *slowly, but with plenty of rests and hydration as you do.

Before my attempt at 18 miles, I had heard of this "wall" but did not know much about it.  Before 18 miles, I had the mindset that I could get through any 'wall' that I came up against, especially in order to do my best at completing a marathon.  My first attempt at 18 miles failed - I could not get past 16.5.

Although hitting "my wall" hurt and was not pleasant both physically and mentally, the pain made me think and consider my options.  Did I want to do the marathon still and if so how would I be able to make it to 26 if I couldn't do 17?  After some consideration and researching I decided that I am still crazy and want to do this marathon.  I also decided to add energy to my runs that go past 16 miles.  I had been carrying water with me and drinking on runs that are 8 miles or more, but never energy packs or anything else.  It was time to bring this new aspect into my training.

Before I started my attempt at 20 miles, I checked and double checked all my running gear, equipment and the position of the new item to give me energy, gu chomps.  I texted my siblings, mom and dad to let them know that I'm about to do something crazy and to wish me luck, and started my "workout" with my nike plus app.

I'm sorry if you find this weird, but I almost have a hard time saying that I completed 20 miles and did pretty good.  20 miles is long - it took me 3 hours and 15  Did I hurt afterward?  Yes.  But I did it and felt that despite the pain, this Saturday I'm going to run for a longer period of time and for a further distance.

Although I pick at myself and say I'm crazy to want to do a full marathon, I really know that this desire is simply so strong in me that to give up now would be more devastating than...well just devestating for me.  I hope that by me moving forward despite running into a wall, will help you move forward in accomplishing your desires too.  It won't be easy, I can sympathize with you if you're still hurting from your wall.  But it will be worth it.  How do I know?  I'll let you know in a few days :)

To the Journey filled with Life - Patricia

p.s. My "crazyness" won't stop:  I've decided to 'adjust' one of my goals.  I want to jog the entire marathon and not stop except for safety reasons (that's right, I plan on not using the bathroom while jogging for over 4 hours).  Prayers humbly accepted!